Roadtrippin' to Oregon

We took the kids on their first official roadtrip this summer. We made the 2 day trip to Portland to visit my parents, brother and my extended family. We were nervous about the carride with the boys but it went pretty well. It was by no means perfect but with the assistance of the dual screen dvd player and the abundance of livestock and trains by the side of the freeway meant for some diversions in the monotony of a 20 hour drive. My parents live in Banks, OR on a 400 acre ranch and the kids were in heaven from the moment we arrived. They could run and have adventures. We got to see my entire extended family in Oregon and the boys met some cousins the same age as they are. We had a blast and we can't wait to make the trip again!

Its a Family Affair

The first thing you hear when your child is diagnosed with Autism is how the affliction affects the whole family. Its not just the child who has chaos, it is the entire family unit. Usually, Mom goes into a mode where she does everything she can to educate herself, find treatments and work with the child. Usually to the point of near neglect to her husband and other children. I'm guilty of this to a point, but I'm trying to be aware of the 80% divorce rate amongst couples with Autistic children. Being a stay at home mom, I'm the one in the trenches with Matthew and his therapies, while Tony works long hours as a deputy sheriff and of course his weekend a month as a reservist leaves alot of time for a lack of communication, cohesiveness and togetherness. I know he wants to be here more, but facts are facts. This is our reality and we are finding ways to make this work. By the end of his 5 day rotation, I'm completely spent and usually near a breaking point. Matthew won't just go to bed, many nights its close to midnight because his brain just won't shut down. That would be ok if he would stay in bed or even play quietly or watch a movie. Often times, I'm finding he is getting into more trouble at these times. Last night I went to wash my face and brush my teeth in the front bathroom because that's where I left my stuff and he went into my room and pulled my shoe rack down in my closet and got into everything. He's absolutely exhausted but he just can't shut down. I'll clean up one mess and he will go make another while I'm doing that. When both Tony and I are home together, its better because we aren't being pulled in different directions and we can double team him. That also means that Tony and I don't have alot of time for just us.

Right now, there's not alot of focus on us as a couple, rather it is on our Autistic child and his 16 month old brother, who is a climber and manages to get into everything with his brother. We are definitely looking forward to Matthew's start to preschool so he can broaden his horizons and I can spend more time with Jack as my focus. We are hoping for respite care so we can have someone watch our kids when we need to be somewhere, or even so Tony and I can have a date night...even if its just to grab a drink somewhere. Hell, I haven't been to the movies in over 3 years.

People who don't have Autistic kids have no idea how challenging it can be and my kid has one of the more milder cases. You might catch a glimpse from time to time but that is still just one blade of grass on a football field, not exactly what I would call insight. Most of the time, my children are joyful and keep us laughing but when they are troublesome, all I can think of is how much I wish I had a prescription for Xanax.